Call us controversial, but the worst films for 2022 on our list are a selection of award contenders and popular fan franchises. For every great group of films out there, you will always find a few bad apples in the bunch. 2022 was no different with its slate of releases. Brace yourselves — here are our picks of the worst films of 2022.
Jamie Broadnax’s Worst of 2022
Nope
Many critics will disagree with my selection of Jordan Peele’s Nope as it is currently sitting at 82% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. It has received many accolades, including a supporting actress win for Keke Palmer from the New York Film Critics Circle. All of that withstanding, I could barely get through its 2 hours and 10 minutes run time.
The plot was nonsensical (I get that there are layers here to Peele’s metaphors, but most were a reach). The performances were lackluster (sorry, Keke), and the ending was uneventful. I was allowed to screen this film a second time and just couldn’t do it. Luckily for Peele and Universal Pictures, I’m in the minority with my opinion about the film — which grossed over 170 million at the box office.
Babylon
I’m going against the status quo, yet again, with my opinion here, this time a movie in contention for several awards, including Best Picture. I’m even going against my colleagues here — Catalina Combs, liked the film and gave it a fresh rating. My problem with Babylon was the story structure was just as messy as the parties and lives of its protagonists.
It’s also become a trope of Hollywood rewarding itself for exalting and praising movies about its own system. That aside, beyond the gratuitous presentation of a flamboyant young Hollywood — there’s no substance to the movie. I also wondered why Margot Robbie sounded like Harley Quinn throughout. Then I realized that perhaps the Australian actor thinks all New England accents sound that way.
Blonde
Let me start by saying that the cinematography in this movie was beautiful. Now, it’s time to annihilate this film with my opinions beyond its technical aspects. The story of Marilyn Monroe (way overdone btw) was depicted in the worst way in this movie.
The depiction of her giving fellatio to President Kennedy was shameful. The fictionalized accounts about her childhood were highly unnecessary and added nothing to the story. Most of what was fictionalized in this film was having Marylin hypersexualized through a male lens, and it was shameful to the legacy of this iconic actor. I didn’t enjoy it at all.
Cassondra Feltus’ Worst of 2022
The Bubble
With a stacked cast and Judd Apatow at the helm, I prepared myself for a fun movie with some of the best comedic actors around — Keegan-Michael Key, Pedro Pascal, Leslie Mann, David Duchovny, Fred Armisen, Kate McKinnon, Peter Serafinowicz.
What I got was a terribly unfunny mess that had no business being 126 minutes. It had an interesting enough premise: Hollywood actors quarantined while filming a ridiculous movie during a global pandemic. It pulled a few chuckles out of me (maybe three), but there were too many subplots, and none were interesting. I’d have a better time watching the fictional film franchise Cliff Beasts.
Wayne Broadway’s Worst of 2022
Halloween Ends
Given the precipitous drop in quality between 2018’s Halloween “requel,” (which was, itself, a fine, if unnecessary and occasionally meandering feature) and 2021’s Halloween Kills, you would think it’d be easy for Halloween Ends to wrap up a trilogy that increasingly seems like it was originally meant to be a one-off effort.
But you’d be dead wrong. You’d be so wrong that you, like me, might actually be upset in the movie theater. You might, like me, actually wonder how they could have gotten everything so wrong and yet defend this dumpster fire in the name of “subverting expectations.” Well, I expected something approaching good, and they subverted the hell out of that.
Michael Myers is an afterthought. Laurie Strode is a quirky grandmother out of a Diablo Cody film, and a promising opening ten minutes gives way to a dreary hour and a half following characters we neither recognize nor care about. If only evil had died that night in Halloween Kills — it would’ve saved us the horror of watching this woeful misfire.
Terrifier 2
There are two schools of thought for placing Damien Leone’s Terrifier 2 on a year-end worst list. First, there’s the idea that doing so risks making the reviewer look like they don’t get it. The film knows it will never be an Oscar contender (except, maybe, for makeup effects, which are admittedly very good here). It knows itself to be a gorefest first and foremost. So it doesn’t bother with “conventional” film concepts like having likable characters, a coherent plot, or even a motivation for its villain.
The movie knows that, so why wouldn’t any reviewer? Worst off? It has an 86% on Rotten Tomatoes!
Yet, there’s the second school of thought; the one I adhere to. It says, regardless of a film’s knowing and ironic nihilism, one must still say how their viewing experience affected them and how it might affect others. Well, I hated this movie. I gained nothing from watching it. It’s an ugly movie about ugly people doing ugly things, and that’s not even considering the murders that occur. Guys, I got the joke; I just didn’t think it was funny.
Jurassic World Dominion
Can I just put a series of sighing noises for this review? Because that’s what I did in the theater. Sighed.
I sighed at the story. I sighed at the attempts at cheap nostalgia, which is all these sequels series have trafficked in since the beginning. I sighed at the movie trying to sell us on the idea that Jeff Goldblum’s sardonic, cynical Dr. Ian Malcolm wouldn’t see that the evil, shady bioengineering company is shady and evil. I sighed at the idea that we’d be fighting deadly (to the environment, that is) locusts instead of man-eating dinosaurs.
I hated the fact that the issue raised at the end of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, that of how to corral wild dinosaurs or find a way to re-introduce them into the ecosystem, was handled offscreen between that film and this one, depriving audiences of a story they’d actually like to see. Drs. Alan Grant and Ellie Satler (Sam Neill and Laura Dern) are back, but so what? They’re not given anything interesting to do other than get together at the end. Even that elicits nothing more than a “Cool.” from me. The trilogy is over now, and I pray it stays extinct.
Jeanine T. Abraham’s Worst of 2022
Bitch Ass
If I could have slapped this film, I would have. Bitch Ass is a slasher film about a group of gang members who break into the house of a psychotic introvert who forces them into impossible-to-win violent games to escape. Nothing is compelling about this film; it is another example of if you have somebody to invest in your idea, you can make a movie.
Time slowed down in all the wrong ways while watching this film. There was not one single character worth rooting for. Everyone was annoying, so it was like, meh, when they were killed. At the same time, it was jarring having to sit there and watch a bunch of young Black kids get brutally murdered for no reason.
The main character, Bitch Ass, wasn’t scary. The reason he was psychotic was a broad stereotype, and the film did not have a clear point of satire or reason for watching. The cinematography was professional, the costumes looked presentable, and the actors knew their lines and made their marks. But the film was just watching actors say lines at each other and hit their marks.
There were no real, believable moments in this film. The attempts at humor weren’t funny. When the writers attempt to get sympathy for the main character, it comes off as insincere. Bitch Ass just pissed me off. Why would you put actors through all that trauma for a hot mess of a script?
Black Adam
Black Adam is like being trapped in a video game filled with monotonous violence, unfunny jokes, and a plot that makes no sense. Dwayne Johnson is more entertaining on his Instagram than in this movie.
Unfortunately, there is not one single thing about this film that was appealing. Ugly costumes, and unappealing locations, and the film was way too long. Was this even a movie? There were barely any plot points to hold on to that made any sense.
The superheroes who first came to capture but then to help Black Adam had weak superpowers that even as a collective were basically useless. For instance, this guy Atom Smasher’s (Noah Centineo) only superpower was that he could grow to be giant-sized, but he spent most of the time getting in the way. Black Adam was a boring waste of time.
What were your worst films of this year? Let us know on social media! And don’t forget to check out our best films list!