Dear Natural Hair:
All the knots, fragile ends and dried out coils are overwhelming me. All those hours spent detangling; you make me not want to wash you but of course I have to.
I’ll admit times were good when we got into a rhythm and I actually liked the results of my Wash-n-Go. I literally washed my hair in the morning, shaped it with a headband and was on my way to work with tightly coiled, non-stretched hair.
…But one week I just didn’t have the time and when I finally got around to you; you went ballistic. I’ve never seen so much shed hair and I’m pretty sure that’s the most I’ve ever cut off of you. Honest to God; I really lost my patience and was glad to cut you. Why are you so difficult? Can’t we all just get along?
(I get away with a true Wash-n-Go by pulling my ‘fro all the way back; but do it often or the detangle will be a nightmare…I look mad because this was after I cut out a lot of tangled hair)
I really want to straighten you out. But I’m afraid of heat damage from my blow dryer and unfortunately, perm makes my eczema flair up resulting in dry scalp flakes.
I assumed if I let you be natural I would be able to take care of you with little maintenance. I’d get to know you and learn exactly what you needed to be healthy but it’s been a year and I’m still confused as to how to get the results I want that won’t take hours to achieve. I’m seriously thinking about letting you dread up but I guess I better research the care for dreadlocks as I don’t want to make any more assumptions as to what is best for you.
Honestly, I’m most happy with you in braided extensions; but the added tension on the hair may make you fall out and I don’t want to screw you up forever. It’s just; I can’t be tied up with you all day every single week. I’m very active and I’ve got things I need to do with my weekends! Forget about after work, I just don’t have the energy.
But I’m sure we can find that rhythm again if I keep up with the washes and detangling on a regular basis and when a special event comes up; I know I have to make the time to twist you out. So, I guess we’ll try it again. It’s just…you don’t know how close I came to saying goodbye to you. But I do see potential in you and that’s why I’m sticking with you…for now.