The dice have been cast. Players are on the board. Plans have been made. Player one is Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen. Unfortunately, teams have conspired against her and the game is halted for Dany and her team straight out the gate.
In this episode of Game of Thrones, “Stormborn,” Dany and her team of powerful women talk about war and how to defeat Cersei for the Iron Throne. What was spectacular about this scene was the discussion of battle and war from a group of women. Sure, Tyrion had some words in there, but my goodness seeing ladies in charge is awesome. Ellaria Sand, Yara Greyjoy, and Lady Olenna Tyrell were all front and center, giving their two cents to Dany. Not to mention, that “amen” worthy scene with Daenerys showing everyone that she is no fool. She calls Varys out on all his scheming and manipulating. She checked him on his BS real quick. After “pardoning” him, Dany finally got to meet Melisandre. Even after getting banished, she is still Team Jon Snow and made a move to get Dany and Jon to meet. Although she scares me, ever since that scene where she birthed a demon — nope, Jesus saves — I am grateful for Melisandre and her push for Jon. Other than that, I don’t trust her. So, although the stage was set pretty well, all hell broke loose on the sea as Team Dany got into position.
Who would have thought Euron Greyjoy would be the villain of the hour? (Side note, who thought Missandei and Grey Worm would get it on? But we will get to that later.) This was a riveting battle of the Greyjoys. There were 3 different battles taking place on that ship. The first was Euron Greyjoy versus his niece and nephew for the Salt Throne. Yara claimed it, Euron took it, Yara was captured and Theon… fled. The second battle taking place was to retrieve a gift for Cersei: the “Sand Snakes” and their mother Ellaria. Yara had them, Euron wanted them. Let fighting commence. The third battle taking place on the water was an inner battle between Theon and Reek. Let’s not forget the humiliation, mutilation, fear, judgment, near death experiences that Theon faced before becoming Reek. We can’t be mad at a guy who has some series post-traumatic stress going on. Well, we can, but I choose not to. (Debate amongst yourselves, fans.) Not to mention his uncle is an insane, ax wielding murderer. When that fight or flight mode kicked in, Theon was out. I feel so sad for him. That’s just great TV right there.
Before battling commenced, however, there was some down time to prepare — or for Grey Worm to lose his virginity. I mean, um, is it really lost though? It was kind of one sided. I’m not complaining because ladies need satisfaction that doesn’t demand reciprocation. Not to mention, this entire exchange was done in the most loving, passionate, safe, secure way. It took a lot of trust for Grey Worm to show his parts (or lack there of). With lines like “you are my weakness,” I just melted into happy bliss. There was also the perfectly displayed realization that there are many ways to show that you love and respect someone. It was a scene where I yelled out things like “finally,” and “they’re not gonna show that…right?” and “get your man, girl!” I loved this growth in relationship status for Missandei and Grey Worm.
On the other side of the board, we have Jon and his peeps at Winterfell. They need to get on board with this growth in relationship train and fix the poor rapport that seems to be plaguing the North. This is how people get murdered. Jon and Sansa need to speak ahead of time instead of hashing it out in front of the rest of the group. I’m all for Jon going to meet Daenerys and leaving Sansa in charge, but like I said for episode 1, get it together people! I need Jon alive. Not to mention if anything should happen to him before the reunion with Arya, I will be livid (because my feelings totally matter in the Game of Thrones world). Did you see Arya’s face when Hot Pie told her Jon won the Battle of the Bastards and is now in control of Winterfell? I just wanted to shake her and yell out, “it’s true!” while I envision them running toward each other in a field of daisies. Long live the remaining Starks, because there are not that many of them left. I suppose, however, since Jon is in route to Dragonstone, I will gladly settle for an Arya and Sansa reunion. Also, I feel when Arya is with Sansa, Littlefinger is a little more likely to stay away.
Goodness, this show. I mean, lots of people died bloody, horrible deaths, Yara and Ellaria didn’t make it to the Dorne army, Jon and Arya will miss each other, and Theon is floating in the middle of the ocean. Somehow, this episode left the game, 1 point Cersei, half a point for Dany (mostly due to Missandei and Grey Worm), and zero points for Jon.
But a million and one points for Sam who is legit trying to save Jorah from dying with grayscale. Did you see him sawing away at Jorah’s flesh? Then the, oh so brilliant, match cut from muffled screams and digging into the diseased skin to digging into a meat pie. You got me queasy again you brilliant Game of Thrones people. I will never look at a pot pie the same again.
Till next week my friends. Tune in next week for an all new episode of this oh so amazing season.