For over 30 years, Black Love Day (BLD) has been a powerful catalyst for healing and fostering community connections. Organized by the African American Holiday Association (AAHA), this year’s theme, “Breathing Solutions to Increase Love in Black Families,” focuses on tackling the urgent youth mental health crisis, highlighting the alarming rise in suicides and depression rates. Black Love Day and its rituals are guided by five tenets: love for the creator, love for self, love for the Black family, love for the Black community, and love for Black people.
Black Love Day was founded in 1993 by Ayo Handy-Kendi, known as “Mama Ayo,” an author, breathologist, and the founder of the African American Holiday Association. The idea for the day emerged after Handy-Kendi witnessed the tragic shooting of Malcolm X. Deeply affected what she experienced, she reflected on how to stop such violence and foster peace. While riding a bus home, she felt a powerful message: “We need more Black love.” This inspiration led her to establish Black Love Day in February of that year. The following year, after the loss of her son to violence, she commemorated the day once again.
We know that love can be a powerful force that helps us heal and grow. When we think of “Black Love,” our minds shift to romantic love and celebrating it on Valentine’s Day. Black Love Day differs from Valentine’s Day in its focus and purpose. While Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic love, Black Love Day is dedicated to honoring and strengthening the love within Black communities, particularly the importance of self-love, family love, and ancestral love among Black people. It emphasizes healing, unity, and addressing specific social and cultural challenges, such as mental health and community empowerment. Black Love Day also has roots in social activism, aiming to promote love as a means of overcoming systemic issues, whereas Valentine’s Day is more widely commercialized and centered on romantic relationships.
The focus on the Black community as a whole is what I love most, and it starts with our children. We’ve all heard the African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It emphasizes the idea that a child’s upbringing is a collective responsibility, not just the duty of parents. It puts a spotlight on the importance of community support — extended family, friends, teachers, and neighbors — all playing a role in guiding, and nurturing, and helping to shape a child’s development. The saying underscores the belief that a child thrives best when surrounded by a network of people who care for and support them.
Ms. Handy-Kendi chose to focus on love after her son died. She could have very well focused on revenge and become bitter. But she found a way to channel her pain into something good. Celebrating Black Love Day is about acknowledging the five tenets throughout the day, and it can not only involve honoring Black love and relationships but also reconciling with or forgiving someone.
Black Love Day should remind us that loving our Black community begins with supporting economic growth through intentional choices, such as shopping at Black-owned businesses. We not only strengthen the community financially but also empower Black entrepreneurs.
Especially now, we have no choice but to look to each other for establishing wealth — not just making money. Wealth is the most complete measure of a family’s future economic well-being. It opens opportunities that can be passed down generation after generation. Wealth makes it easier for people to seamlessly transition between jobs, move to new neighborhoods, and respond in emergency situations. It allows parents to pay for their children’s education and enables working class people to build economic sustainability in retirement.
Black people can cultivate self-love through wealth by acknowledging their God-given worth, developing income-generating skills, and investing in assets. Additionally, they can foster meaningful relationships to expand their network and address any negative emotions surrounding money.
Advocating for racial justice is another important step in demonstrating love for our Black community. This means continuing to stand up for policies that ensure fairness, equity, and opportunity for Black people. Creating safe spaces for Black voices to be heard and valued is also critical. We can support the mental and emotional well-being of our community by breaking the stigma around mental health and providing resources for those who need it.
Celebrating Black culture, history, and achievements is an important way to demonstrate our love. As Black people, we have the power to uplift our entire communities. Celebrating Black love can be done by attending cultural events, supporting Black artists, or keep learning about Black history. Our everyday actions can show solidarity and strengthen mutual respect.
For me, Black Love Day is about self-love and acknowledging the fact that I can’t do everything. I took my superwoman cape off a while ago. I do have unique qualities and talents, but I also have weaknesses, and I’m learning to be okay with that. My imperfections mean that I’m human. So, I’m learning to appreciate those things that are not perfect about myself. Acknowledging that you can’t do everything is important, and just how significant that old African proverb really is. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
