Dear Black women,
We deserve peace, solace, and the ability to love ourselves despite society’s unfair judgment of our character. It’s 2023 and Black women still fall victim to society’s harsh treatment. As Black women, we are so sick and tired of the misogynoir, racism, and sexism directed our way. We must endure a society that does not protect us or respect us. It’s almost as if our modern society should come with a manual on how to navigate through the world as a Black woman.
We must deal with a multitude of stressors without expressing rage and being classified as “the angry Black woman” trope, which further increases society’s judgment of us as people. It’s like we can never win.
With those struggles in mind, Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Oludara Adeeyo has brought together 150 ways for Black women to tune into themselves. In Adeeyo’s self-care guide, Self-Care for Black Women: 150 Ways to Radically Accept & Prioritize Your Mind, Body, & Soul, for once Black women are putting themselves first. Adeeyo has created a self-care book designed specifically for Black women. In this intuitive guide, Adeeyo addresses the emotional trauma that Black women have carried for decades. From the trauma of our ancestors to generational curses that Black women must battle, there constantly seems to be a fight. Using the 150 practices detailed, Adeeyo asks for all Black women to practice self-love, resist society’s hatred, and release emotional trauma.
Adeeyo begins her narrative by expressing the hardship that is systematically engrained in the lives of Black women. Being Black in society is a hardship, and on top of that, we must navigate through modern sexism in our society as Black women. Systematically, Black women are more likely to have their health not taken as seriously at hospitals in comparison to our white counterparts. According to Adeeyo, Black women are also dying at a higher rate from issues like heart disease and maternal-related illnesses. Adeeyo describes self-care as being the way to fight back at a societal ecosystem that beats us down as people. In other words, the best thing you can do for yourself as a Black woman is put yourself first because we deal with a system that doesn’t.
Most importantly, Adeeyo mentions how vital it is for Black women to break generational curses by not following the path of our ancestors and instead creating a new direction in life. It’s a fact that Black women, or Black people for that matter, have never had life easy. From the struggles of our ancestors in society to the oppression that we currently face, it’s like a never-ending cycle of adversity. Adeeyo calls for the cycle to end now. In her self-care guide, she boldly addresses that the cycle of inequality ends here. The cycle ends with you the minute you make yourself the priority as a Black woman. It’s time to focus on your needs and what brings you joy or elevates your spirit.
This easy-read self-care guide is filled with simple ways to reclaim oneself by learning to cope with societal hatred and pressure put on Black women and how to heal as a Black woman. One notable step towards the healing process that Adeeyo mentions is to provide yourself with a judgment-free zone. As a Black woman, you need a safe space where someone understands and will listen without judgment of your struggles.
Although our struggles exist in society, it is essential to surround yourself with those who do not invalidate our struggles as Black women. Our struggles do exist, despite opposition from those who are ignorant of facts. It’s okay to cut ties with those who do not contribute to your well-being in terms of the racial complexities in your life.
In this guide, the author acknowledges the importance of confiding in others. Surround yourself with Black friends you can confide in who’ve also experienced your struggles in society as a Black individual. Confiding in others helps us realize that we do not suffer alone. Speaking with a professional such as a Black therapist is also a substantial way to find another person who can serve as a non-judgmental listener.
It’s evident that there is a never-ending cycle of injustice that Black women face. As Black women, we fight many unspoken battles. We often forget to have fun and prioritize ourselves first. Adeeyo’s guide helps with this. She not only tackles the systematic oppression that takes a toll on our minds and bodies as Black women, but she also covers the smallest stressors in life and how to overcome them.
The author mentions simple easy changes we can make to our lives that will pay off in the long run. For example, the guide mentions creating a vision board, taking a break from social media, or even finding an enjoyable form of exercise. Social media can be a toxic place. We often find ourselves arguing with keyboard warriors or trying to defend ourselves as Black women. Taking a break from the internet to avoid being reliant on social media goes a long way.
With excessive social media use, we sometimes miss out on small activities such as going out for a walk, being mindful of our surroundings, or changing our physical environment. All three are simple exercises that are designed to be stress-free and transformative.
Whether your needs as a Black woman are emotional, physical, societal, or a combination of the three, this self-care guide is for you. Uniquely written by separating the book into three major components (mind, body, and soul), Adeeyo uses her expertise to give Black women the peace that society pulls from us. In her book, she mentions simple tasks like taking a nap or discovering an amusing hobby and also emphasizes the importance of connecting to yourself by learning your family’s history or traveling solo.
For once, this is about us. As a Black woman, do yourself a favor and get in tune with yourself by practicing the activities detailed in Adeeyo’s self-care guide.
Self-Care for Black Women: 150 Ways to Radically Accept & Prioritize Your Mind, Body, & Soul is available where major books are sold.
