The Zellner brothers are an acquired taste. If you ever had the opportunity to catch their film Sasquatch Sunset, which made its debut at Sundance in 2024, you will either love or hate their aesthetic for comedy. Sasquatch Sunset was a film with absolutely no dialogue and filled with the sounds of grunts and heaving breathing from sasquatches. And if you’re not a fan of seeing a lot of bodily fluids depicted on film, this may not be the movie for you. In the case of Alpha Gang, there is plenty of dialogue and, thankfully, very little involving bodily fluids, aside from one particularly disgusting toilet bowl scene. Still, the narrative feels scattered, struggling to establish a clear direction or make the most of its bizarre premise. Even more frustrating is how thoroughly the film wastes its incredibly talented ensemble cast. And no, not intoxicated wasted. Their considerable talent is squandered on underdeveloped characters and a disjointed story, which feels downright criminal given the caliber of performers involved.
So let’s first talk about what this film is actually about before we get a bit deeper into the issues behind the film. A group of aliens who refer to themselves as “alphas” assimilate and take on the form as humans on earth. They elect to take on their earthly form as old-school bikers. They wish to enjoy the fruits and labors of what humans experience. Joy, sadness, love, and even sex. However, there is another faction of aliens that refer to themselves as “betas” and they too want to take over the planet. There seems to be some discord between the alphas and the betas. And shenanigans between the groups ensue.
Alpha Seven (Chris Pine) pays the alphas a visit. He warns there is a traitor amongst them. There are antagonists such as Alpha One played by Cate Blanchett. The film has an all-star cast that also includes: Léa Seydoux, Dave Bautista, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Lily-Rose Depp, Doona Bae and Riley Keough.
While the story is undeniably zany and silly, with a Guardians of the Galaxy-style energy, it has all the ingredients of a fun and entertaining genre film. Unfortunately, Alpha Gang never brings those elements together in a meaningful or compelling way. Its eccentric premise and colorful characters should create an exciting, offbeat adventure, but the uneven storytelling and muddled execution prevent the film from finding its rhythm. Rather than embracing its weirdness with purpose, Alpha Gang feels chaotic and unfocused, ultimately missing the mark completely.
While screening Alpha Gang at TIFF, I initially assumed there was a problem with the theater’s audio system. It was not until I came across similar complaints in Letterboxd reviews following the film’s Telluride premiere that I realized the issue was with the film itself. The sound mixing is remarkably uneven, with dialogue and effects fluctuating between barely balanced and unreasonably loud. Several moments are so jarring that they pull the audience out of the story entirely. I’m not sure whether the Foley editor disappeared halfway through production or an overwhelmed intern was left in charge of the sound, but the result is distractingly bad and makes an already difficult viewing experience even more frustrating.
And while the performances are meant to be campy, even Cate Blanchett’s performance looked wooden. She’s also an EP on the film, so not sure what was in it for her, but as a fan of her body of work, she deserved better. Kelvin Harrison Jr. is another victim here, as I’ve seen and admired his work for years and somehow they make his performance look like he’s performing in a school play. I don’t know how these incredibly talented actors who have won awards and who are top-tier in their industry have been reduced to look like they’re amateurs at their game.
Ultimately, Alpha Gang made very little sense. The film is dull, narratively messy, and weighed down by an uneven plot and distracting sound design. Rather than building toward something meaningful, it becomes increasingly tedious and difficult to follow. Sadly, I did not make it through the final 20 minutes because I walked out of the screening, something I had never done during a festival film before. But by that point, I simply could not take any more. For a movie with such a talented cast and a premise brimming with potential, Alpha Gang was an enormously frustrating disappointment.
I know this film is not an awards film by any stretch, nor is it a film seeking to become one, but it’s not even a film that’s fun to watch. It’s just boring, silly, and nonsensical.
Alpha Gang premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival.
