If you’re looking for action, suspense, and horror, see another movie because Underworld: Blood Wars doesn’t have any of that. What you will see is Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and fellow vampires standing around and complaining as they talk one another into a coma. But at least there is David (Theo James): the hot vampire eye candy sidekick who adds absolutely nothing to the story and treats Selene like a damsel in distress. Gag!

Underworld: Blood Wars takes place right after the events of 2012’s Underworld: Awakening. This time, the Lycans (aka werewolves) have a new leader, Marius (Tobias Menzies). Marius possesses a powerful secret that is poised to end all vampires in existence — with that, Selene, is thrust into the war between the Lycans and the vampires once again. The vampires need Selene due to her death-dealing abilities to defeat the enemy. One thing they didn’t account for is a defector within the vampire ranks who wishes to steal Selene’s blood to become a daywalker. With so much chaos within the vampire coven ranks, they can’t trust each other, and this makes them vulnerable. But Selene and sidekick David have a plan to ensure the vampire covens continue to thrive.

Underworld: Awakening, while not critically acclaimed, gave the franchise a new direction and a new purpose because of the surprise of Selene’s pre-teen daughter. In Awakening, Selene is relatable, endearing, and a bit more self-actualized. In Underworld: Blood Wars, the previous plot involving Selene’s daughter is abandoned, and the subplot involving Selene and Michael (her half-Lycan and half-vampire lover from the first film) is forgotten altogether.

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Underworld, Blood Wars, Selene
© Screen Gems

Weren’t Micheal and her child the reason this war escalated in the first place?! I can’t think of a reason why everything that makes the story interesting is neglected. And thanks to Underworld: Blood Wars, we’re right back to the beginning with Selene fighting the Lycans in a war that doesn’t end (yes it goes on and on my friend). What you can look forward to in this installment is Selene with frosty blonde tips and a fox fur coat. YAWN.

Underworld, Blood Wars, Selene
© Screen Gems

And what the hell is up with adding David to overall arc as a useless sidekick? Selene doesn’t need him, but for some reason, the film gives this character more screen time than he deserves. David is always conveniently in the right place to rescue Selene when she is in trouble, but I don’t remember Selene needing saving in any other Underworld films. My intuition tells me these male characters are elevated because Beckinsale is tired of the franchise and is ready to leave it behind. There has to be someone to hold the mantle when Selene is gone. Why not David?

Underworld, Blood Wars, Selene
© Screen Gems

In the end, the entire film is a downer because nothing happens. Just the Vampires whining about how unprepared they are to fight the Lycans. The hand-to-hand combat is weak, and Selene isn’t the same. That fervor Beckinsale used to drive the character at the beginning of the series has disappeared. She doesn’t seem like she’s having fun anymore. But, we all know the series won’t survive without Beckinsale. Screen Gems better do whatever they can to keep her if they plan to release more movies. Also, the writers need to diversify the story or stop adding subplots they don’t intend to follow through with.

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Or maybe it’s time to let this franchise go because all it’s doing is going nowhere.